Lately I’ve become very sensitive to noticing when people are projecting. It all started earlier this year when someone accused me of something they do themselves.
It reminded me of that grade school lesson how when you point one finger at someone, three other fingers point back at you.
Ever since then I’ve realized that every time someone is accusing me for something I’m clearly not, it’s because that characteristic, trait, etc is actually something they hold inside of them. Whether they want to admit it or not.
Tonight, for example, I was called a racist. Actually Scott was the one called a racist but the speaker was talking about us and “our people” in general.
This person had left his dogs unattended on the beach.
Actually, let me back up. There are a lot of “wild dogs” on this island — and while some are friendly, most are not. Since no human was around these two dogs, we assumed they were wild and like any prudent person does with a wild animal you leave it alone and avoid it.
So, Scott & I went to the far other end of the beach away from the dogs. We stayed there for a long while enjoying the sunset and noticed one of the dogs kept creeping closer. We moved down still farther until there was no where else to go.
Eventually the dog had gotten so close that Scott started making very loud bark-like noises at the dog trying to scare it away. He wasn’t trying to hurt the dog as much as he was trying to scare it away or show the dog who was in charge. It’s what dogs do to each other when their hair stands up and they bark. It was natural. It was the best option–we had no where else to go (the beach ends with a giant rock formation), and the dog was also blocking the only way we could go to leave the beach…we figured us walking towards the dog would be ever worse, so scaring him off with words was the best choice.
Two Scott-barks later, the dog leaves but the owner then quickly comes running down from a parking area near the beach (where was he before?) yelling and screaming at us. We explain that his dog was coming too close, and we were trying to protect ourselves, and also our tiny dogs. We asked that he kindly put a leash on his dog or call his dog off. He then starts cursing at us and calling us racist.
He then makes several broad, racist-slurs about white people. He then tells us that we are not welcome at the beach and need to leave. I point to our condo and say “we live here, we have every right to be here. We’re not trying to fight with you or cause trouble, we would just like you to keep your dog with you. There is plenty of beach for everyone and for every dog to be safe.”
Still he makes more racial slurs and among other things tell us we shouldn’t be allowed to live on the island because we’re not from here. (By this point I’d caught where he worked since it was on his shirt and he makes a living selling food and drinks to tourists…hmm…)
Anyway, as I’m gathering our things to leave (sunset ruined!) he encroaches on Scott with a rock in his hand and basically forces us to leave threatening to hit one, or both of us, with a rock. He literally bullies and follows us all the way back to the security gate at our condo. I’m sure he only retreated because we have guards!
As angry as we were over this situation, we realized that we are not the problem here. We’re clearly not racist, we don’t need to prove that because we know that we’re not. BUT HE IS RACIST. And that is just really sad.
Still, I am thankful for this experience because it only makes me appreciate MORE what all the minorities in America have gone through.
